Eric and Sookie were dancing together to a slow song, her head snug under his chin. The chemistry between them that night was palpable. Every time they touched one another their skin seemed to tingle from the contact. She shivered when his fingertips trailed along her bare back and she felt his breath warm against her ear.
“Do you want to go?” He leaned down to place a kiss on her neck.
Sookie pulled back to see his face, to be sure of what he was asking. She nodded.
He brushed his soft lips against hers, before taking her hand and leading them out of the dance.
A short time later they found themselves parked underneath the stars in one of Old Man Wheeler’s backfields. He had about 40 acres, most of the fences in disrepair and there was one quiet spot, far from the road and the neighboring home that she and Eric liked to visit. A creek rushed through the middle of it and during the summer it was shaded by trees so old and big you couldn’t even wrap your arms around the trunks. At night, with a blanket thrown into the grass it was as close as you could get to heaven around there.
Eric left his radio playing in the background as he spread out the huge blanket he kept in his trunk. Over the last year he and Sookie had made use of it a couple of times. They never went too far, in awe of one another’s changing bodies and how it felt being so close together.
Sookie stepped out of her heels and lay down on the blanket, staring up into the night sky above her. She let out a soft sigh. It had been the perfect night. She watched as Eric carefully took off his boutiner and tie, setting them inside the car. He adjusted the volume and flipped through his iPod. Soon the sounds of Adele played softly in the background.
“You have Adele on your iPod? Since when?” She leaned up on her elbows to see him grinning by the car.
“Since a few nights ago.” He kicked off his dress shoes and undid his first couple shirt buttons before sitting down next to her.
“But you hate her.”
“No, I don’t hate her. I just said The Cure did a better version of ‘Love Song’.” He tugged off his socks.
“I love that song by her.” She said sincerely, shaking her head.
“I know you do.” He stretched out next to her, adjusting the volume from the tiny remote he held in his hand.
“Thanks for playing her for me.” She pecked him on the cheek.
They lay there listening to the music and watching the night sky. Eric’s hand reached for hers and he held it tight. His hand was a little clammy, but she didn’t mind. When “Rolling in the Deep” ended, he must have skipped forward because “Love Song” came on next. Her heart stomach turned with both excitement and a hint of fear.
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
“Sookie?” His voice seemed uncertain.
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel whole again
“Hmm?” She turned her head to look at him, only to see he was no further then a tilt of her head away. The words of her favorite song washed over her and she knew it wasn’t a coincidence that it was playing now.
“Are you sure about this?” Eric swallowed nervously and she watched his adams apple bob in the dark.
“Yes.” She breathed out and he slowly leaned in, pressing his lips to hers. It was soft, sweet and innocent. Even though they had kissed this way a million times, it felt so different. Reaching her around his neck, she stroked the hair at the base of his neck, relishing in its silkiness. He smelled wonderful.
However far away
I will always love you
Eric carefully stretched his body over hers while they kissed, holding his weight on his arms. He sighed against her mouth as she opened just enough for him to taste her with his own tongue. Her hands ran up and down his back, under his shirt, feeling the warm skin there and nestling his body closer to hers.
It was warm and familiar, consuming and exciting. She felt so safe with him. She trusted him with her body, knowing he would never do anything to hurt her. It didn’t take long for them to get lost in the moment and soon they were stripped down to their underwear. They had never taken their clothes off before and she watched shyly while he went to get a quilt from the car.
However long I stay
I will always love you
With a pounding heart she took stock of what was going to happen. The fear welled up inside of her, almost to the point of panic and the forced herself to think. To be calm.
His hands. His hands aren’t like the other hands. His hands are soft and smooth. They’re big, but so gentle. His hands have never hurt me. His smell…it’s just Eric. He doesn’t smell of beer and cigarettes and pot. His body, it’s not the same. His body comforts me and protects me, he doesn’t cage me. He doesn’t hold me down with his body.
Eric kneeled before her, the quilt sitting next to him. He looked sexy in his boxers and she bit her lip. His hand traced along her leg, starting at her foot and slowly working its way up. She trembled as his fingertips approached the edge of her panties.
“Sook?” He frowned slightly, leaning forward, tilting his head in the moonlight and looking at the brown skin around her bikini line. “What’s this?”
Her heart caught in her throat and her mouth went dry. Shit! I hoped he wouldn’t notice! I was sure my panties covered it! She felt his fingers tracing gently over a small scar, her mind frantically trying to think of something to tell him. “Um.” She cleared her throat. “It’s a birth mark.”
His eyes moved from her face to the scar, smaller than a dime, weighing what she said. “Oh, I never noticed before.” He smiled.
“I know my bathing suit usually covers it.” She tugged at the edge of her panties. “I’m sorry, I know it’s gross.”
“Sookie, stop.” He moved her fingers away and leaned down very slowly, pressing his warm lips against the mark. “Nothing about you is gross.”
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you
Her body relaxed as he sat back up, his eyes catching hers. “Come here.” She held her arms out, asking him to lay with her. Eric blanketed her body with own, his lips trailing kisses from her shoulder up to her neck. Her hands traced lines up and down his long, lean back, causing him to shudder when her nails dug into his flesh. “Kiss me.” She breathed, feeling brave since she made it through the first few hurdles.
Eric’s mouth covered hers, his lips teasing and sucking her own. Her tongue touched his and he pushed his hips against hers and they both moaned.
The smell was Eric. His body felt right, it was familiar. His hands…oh his sweet hands, so gentle. Sookie thought while he touched her breast. I can do this, we can do this! It’s going to be okay!
She could feel him hard through his boxers and her hand shook a little as it slid from his back to his front. Grasping him in her palm his body began to tremble.
“Did it feel good, you know…what I did before?” Her voice sounded shy, her eyes on Eric as he trailed his lips along the swells of her breasts.
“It was perfect, Sook. You’re perfect.” He looked her in the eyes to make sure she could see his sincerity before capturing her lips again.
She slowly stroked him, feeling the warm, velvety flesh grow firmer by the second. As new as this was to her, they only touched one another under their clothes a few times, she couldn’t help but enjoy the way it felt, knowing what she was doing to him. His hand drifted away from her breast and slipped down her quivering stomach until it reached her panties.
“Is this okay?” He asked hoarsely, his fingers playing with the lace.
“Yes, I like it when you do that.”
It was empowering to know that what they were doing together neither had done with anyone else before. Sure, they had both dated a little the past few years of high school, but neither of them went much further past feeling on top of the clothes. Well, Eric did say he had a hand job from his freshman girlfriend. Although it got the job done, he had been awful worried there were be friction burns on his penis, since she wasn’t very gentle.
He slipped a finger carefully inside of her and she cried out against his neck. She felt the panic rising in her, but his smell surrounded her, his mouth whispered sweet words in her ears. It was still Eric. She knew that if she was going to be with anyone, he was the person to be with. His other arm cradled her tightly to him while they both continued to explore one another and shyly rock their bodies together.
Sookie buried a hand in his hair, tugging at it gently and wrapping her fingers up in it. His hair was so soft and always freshly washed; she could spend hours playing with it. She felt him begin to slide her panties down and she tensed for just a moment, since they had never seen one another bare before.
“What is it? Should I stop?” He raised his face to her, trying to read her eyes.
She stroked the side of his face, dipping her finger into the cleft of his chin. She loved to touch his strong jawline. “I’m just a little embarrassed.”
“Sookie,” his hand stopped and he cupped her face with both of his palms, “you’ve nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
Sookie’s stomach fluttered in a way that only happened when Eric was near. “You haven’t seen all of me, though.” She whispered.
“But I want to.” He whispered back, his eyes searching hers.
She studied his face, looking again into the eyes of her best friend, the one person she trusted the most in this world. Her lips curved into a slow smile and she nodded. “Okay, can you cover me, though?” She slid her hands into the waistband of his boxers and played with it as he unfolded the quilt and laid it over them.
“Better?” He asked, stroking the side of her face.
“Better.” She stretched up to kiss him and his mouth was on hers again, frantic in its exploration. Pulling him down to her, her hands felt the soft skin of his hips and the firm muscles in his butt. She whimpered into his mouth as she tried to tug down his boxers. She took them as far as she could reach and then he helped kicked them off his shaking legs. He kneeled between her thighs, the quilt slipping down his back, pooling around his waist.
Sookie tried to keep her eyes trained on Eric’s face, but felt her eyes start to dip down. She had never seen a naked boy before.
“You can look at me, Sook.” He reached for her hand and brought it to his chest.
She felt his heart thudding underneath her touch and his hand guided her across his chest, down to his firm abs and he let go, leaving her to explore further. His body was lean and toned. She could see the results of his weight lifting, because in all the years she had seen him with his shirt off, she had never seen him look like this. Her finger trailed over his hipbone and to his thigh, before she looked back into his eyes and carefully took him in her hand.
His eyes closed and a low groan rumbled in his throat. He leaned closer, slipping his arms around her back to remove her bra. Pulling it away, he quickly covered her chest with his own, not wanting her to feel exposed. They both moaned at the skin-to-skin contact. Reaching between them he pulled her panties down and set them to the side. Lying there completely bare, they shivered in anticipation.
Sookie could see in his face how much he cared for her. His hands gently cupped her breasts, massaging them and teasing them until he lowered his head and began to lay kisses on them. His hips ground into hers, pressing his erection against her stomach and thigh.
“Oh, Sookie.” Eric moaned while he gently sucked on her nipple. “You’re so beautiful.”
She could feel herself getting swept away by the moment as he thrust into her hand. She guided him to her entrance and let him bump and slip against her. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight as he settled more firmly between her legs. Her fears were washed away and the only thing on her mind was this moment in time, this perfect, special moment that she would always remember with Eric.
His mouth was back on hers in a flash, nibbling her lips and sucking on her tongue. He continued to pump his hips, hitting against her a little more directly each time. They were lost in one another, so carried away in the moment that when he hit her entrance the last time, he instinctively began to push. She cried out as he held her tighter, loving her so much in that moment and needing so desperately to feel her. He pressed into her harder even though it was probably no more than his tip; it hurt desperately- enough to snap her out of it.
The pain. The roughness! I can’t get him off me, he’s too heavy! Don’t do this to me, please please don’t hurt me! Please don’t do this! Please let me go! I won’t tell, I won’t tell anyone!
“Eric! Stop!” She cried out, wiggling away from him, pushing out his arms. “Stop!”
“What? Sookie?” He sat up quickly, confusion and hurt etched across his face. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry!” He reached for her and she only scooted back further, shaking her head no.
Her body was beautiful in the moonlight but he couldn’t enjoy it. He grabbed the blanket that had pooled at his feet and tried to cover her with it. He quickly pulled on his boxers and crawled over to her, wrapping his arms around her as tightly as he could while her body shook. “I’m sorry.” He whispered over and over again, pressing kisses to her head and the side of her face, wiping the tears from her eyes. He was terrified.
She was silent for a while until she turned her face to his, letting him kiss her gently on the lips. “I’m so sorry.”
“What happened? I didn’t mean to hurt you!” His hand cupped her chin, forcing her to look up into his eyes. His stomach turned and rolled, feeling like he would be sick.
“I wasn’t thinkin’ clearly, Eric.” She lied; her voice hoarse and she shook her head. She could still feel the weight of the body that held her down. “We didn’t even have protection!”
“Is that what this is about?” He asked, relief rushing through him. He grabbed his pants and dug in a pocket, pulling out a condom. He smiled hesitantly at her, his fear beginning to fade. “Here, I have one. I’m sorry I didn’t put it on first. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just…I got carried away. It’s no excuse, but I’m sorry.”
“I know.” The smell of cigarettes burned her nose, the rough hands hurt her flesh.
“If you still want to, I can…” His voice trailed off as he saw the distant look in her eyes. She wasn’t even looking at him. “Sook?”
“No, Eric. I’m sorry.” She reached for her underwear and dress, trying to get dressed under the blanket. Her body trembled as she tried to avoid his eyes. She knew she was safe, she knew Eric would never hurt her, but she couldn’t bear to have something so special as being with Eric ruined by that horrible memory!
“Sookie?” Eric watched her helplessly, tears filling his eyes.
She tried to ignore the crack in his voice, knowing that he only got that way if he was hurt. She didn’t want to hurt him. She just wanted to wash this terrible feeling off of her and get away from it!
“Did I do something else wrong?” He asked quietly. “I know I’ve never done this before…”
Sookie stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath. She scooted over to where he was sitting on his knees, looking every bit as lost and as hurt as he sounded. She threw her arms around his shoulders and hugged him for all she was worth. He hugged her back, his hands stroking through her hair. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Eric. I promise. It’s me, it’s not you.”
“Can you tell me what it is?” He whispered in her ear, slumping in defeat when she shook her head.
“I can’t do it. I thought I was ready and I guess I’m not. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, Eric.” She sniffed against his neck, the hot tears burning his skin. She could still feel him there, between her legs, and as much as she wanted to cherish that feeling, a darkness was rising in her, pushing it away and tainting it.
“Friendship?” Eric asked as she stood up, straightening her dress. She began folding up the blanket. “Sook, I thought…you and I, we’re different than that, aren’t we?”
She stopped for a moment, her back to him. When she spoke it was just above a whisper and she hated herself when she said, “I don’t know.”
Eric stood up behind her, roughly pulling on his clothes. He was so confused he was almost angry. He knew she was lying to him about something, but he didn’t know what it was. There was no way that her reaction to him was because of their friendship. Maybe part of it, but not all of it. He’d never seen her so scared before. Not to mention all summer they had been moving towards this moment, he had been sure he wasn’t the only one having these feelings. He felt her hand on his arm as he finished buttoning his shirt. He turned to look down at her tear stained face, the tracks of mascara dark against her flushed skin.
“Please don’t hate me.” She said barely above a whisper, her voice trembling. “Please. You’re my best friend, Eric.”
His eyes stared off over her shoulder, his face expressionless. He shook his head. “I don’t hate you, Sookie.” He moved away, yanking on his socks.
She wrung her hands desperately. “Promise me?”
“Yep.” He grabbed the blankets off the ground, shoving them into the trunk. “You ready?”
He was still avoiding her eyes and his voice was void of all emotion. It was like he turned a switch off.
He started the car and she quickly climbed in. Adele was still stuck on repeat and she heard him cuss under his breath. He quickly changed artists and soon the air was filled with heavy metal and they were back on the road.
She could almost feel his anger radiating off of him and she felt desperate. She couldn’t bear to have Eric angry with her. They drove in silence, the breeze cooling their heated faces. The music was too loud for her to try and talk to him.
Eric pulled into her driveway and lowered the volume, but he didn’t turn the engine off.
Sookie’s stomach hit the floor and her skin prickled. She knew this was bad. “You aren’t going to stay?” Eric always stayed the night when they went out on the weekends, or if he was over late on a school night. Her parents loved him so much that as long as her bedroom door remained open, he could stay whenever he wanted. Besides, Eric’s own family wasn’t around very often.
She knew once she got inside and showered, everything would be okay. They would get comfy in her bed and he wouldn’t be mad at her anymore.
He shook his head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea tonight.”
“But you said you aren’t mad at me.” She knew if he left things weren’t going to be okay.
“I’m not. I promise.” He finally turned to look and offered her a sad smile, before gently tracing the tracks of her tears. “I just need a couple of days.”
“A couple of days?” Her chin trembled and the sick feeling in her stomach grew. “Away from me?”
He pulled away. “I’m sorry. Everything will get back to normal. I need some space.”
“Do I have any say in this?” She whispered.
“I’m afraid not.” His voice caught but he cleared his throat to hide it. “I’m sorry. If you need me, I’m here. But until then, I think we should take time off. I’ll see you at school on Monday, okay?”
She gulped in a breath of air, realizing he was serious and that he didn’t plan on driving her to school like he always did. She nodded helplessly and put her hand on the door, pushing it open slowly. She got out and faced her dark house, relieved she wouldn’t have to explain to her parents why she was crying. Stumbling in the dark she made her way to the porch steps, but couldn’t bring herself to lift a foot. She couldn’t believe an hour ago things were so perfect and now they were such a mess. She ruined everything! Her shoulders shook with her sobs and she heard Eric’s door open and close, his feet crunching on the gravel.
He pulled her back against him, holding her while she cried. “This is only temporary.”
“Can you promise that? Can you swear that to me?” She turned and buried her face into his chest.
“I think so. We’ll get back to normal. We just need to give it time.” He tried to offer some comfort even while he felt he was being ripped apart inside. “I thought things with us were different then they are.”
Her chest constricted from his words. Things were different between them and she couldn’t stand the thought of losing that. She didn’t know how to explain it to him, because she didn’t want to talk about her memory. “Okay.” She whispered, feeling more lost then ever before, letting him believe his words. She hoped that when he was done being mad at her, they could go back to normal and try to move forward.
“Is there anything else you want to tell me?” His breath was warm in her ear.
Sookie hesitated for a moment, and then shook her head no. He would be disgusted if he knew. She felt his body stiffen against hers and she knew in that moment he was well aware she was lying to him. She raised her eyes to his, pleading with him to understand. “I can’t.” She croaked out, her voice raw from crying.
“Will you ever tell me?”
“I don’t know.” She responded brokenly. “I’ll try.”
“Is it about us?”
“No.” She whispered, gripping the collar of his shirt, pulling his forehead down to rest on hers. She couldn’t stand to let go; knowing the moment she did things would change.
He kissed her quickly on the lips and turned and walked away. She blurrily watched him stop at his car and lift his hand in a partial wave. “See you Monday,” he called quietly.
“Monday.” She echoed and trudged deeper into the darkness, locking the door behind her.
A/N: Wow! What an emotional night for these two! I hope this was worth the wait and that it answers a lot of questions you guys have been asking. I know it also creates more questions! Thank you so much for your patience while I have been handling things IRL and haven’t updated in so long. I have felt terrible about it! We should be back on track now. Please review and let me know what you think about the long awaited homecoming outtake! Was it worth the wait for you? What did you like about it? Is there anything that didn’t work for you? Let me know! 🙂