The Next Step

My doctor called me this morning with my ultrasound results, which are still inconclusive. She gave me three choices- wait 6 weeks and do another ultrasound, have an MRI or go to a specialist. She suggested specialist and I agreed.

The dr she referred me to was promptly called by me and the scheduling staff was a bunch of assholes (this is even after I told them why I was being seen). The soonest they could see me would be the end of next week and they wouldn’t even talk scheduling until they got my referral, even though my insurance does not require a referral and I offered to hand deliver the reports to them today. Continue reading


Deep Thoughts- A Personal Entry

Don’t feel obligated to read this at all. Really. I just have some things to get off my chest and this is the best place for me to do it. 🙂

So today I went for my well-woman check up. While there, the PA, who I adore, mentions I hadn’t called her back in regards to my ultrasound results. This immediately caught my attention for two reasons.  One, how could I have missed that? And two, well, they don’t call if everything is okay. Continue reading


I know there has been some curiosity over the title of the story. It will be explained in more detail in the chapters, but to put it bluntly- it’s what I was asked. “Why don’t you turn the machines off?” Imagine turning the machines off on someone in “Jason’s” condition. Or imagine there being no machine at all, which there wasn’t. What did they propose we do? Starve him to death? Because really, that’s the only way to “turn the machine off”. If I sound bitter and raw about this, it’s because I am. Time does not heal all wounds, it just makes them somewhat bearable.

This happened in 1996.

News: Papa Don’t Preach and other things

Hi, everyone! We are still on schedule with a posting of PDP next week. I have another 6 chapters written and ready to post, so I shouldn’t fall behind if the family stuff continues.

Although, hopefully we will be in much better shape in a few days, because my feisty little Grandma was actually sitting up eating when I got there to see her today. So, under the circumstances, she is doing AMAZING. We snapped a pic of her yesterday to show my aunt, since she lives in another state and can’t be here, but then we decided it would be better NOT to show her. Grandma seriously looks like she was in the boxing ring. She kept trying to open that lil’ swollen eye today, not remembering what happened or why she was in the hospital. Sigh. Hopefully this stuff will pass once she is off the morphine and the concussion passes.

Drs still do not think we need cranial surgery. She is still bleeding around her brain, but it is a very small amount and her brain swelling is also pretty minimal. So, they are imaging her head like it’s going out of style, it’s nice to know they are so on top of it.

One really sad, non-related family thing…yesterday there were a handful of Highway Patrol officers in the trauma ICU. No big, figured a criminal got hurt or something. Today, a TON more. Like a lot. We found out that one of their men was party of a search and rescue of a lost hiker…and the officer was hit with the chopper blade. Ugh, it makes me so sad!! He is still alive but in bad shape, I don’t know anything else since it’s all PHI (personal health information). Anyways, while you all are sending good vibes to my steel headed granny, remember Officer Rescue, because I bet he has some family hurting right now. XOXO

Edited to add: Rumor through the grapevine is this poor man was scalped by the blade. It sounds pretty bad…really makes you put everything else into perspective, huh?

What a day, huh?

I don’t think it has ever felt so good to be home and to snuggle into my comfy chair with my cuddly kitty.

I actually had a chance to go to the chiro this morning before I found out about Grandma, but the stress of the day has taken all the good that he did away. I am an internalizer of stress, you will never see it on the outside, it’s always tucked away on the inside.  Continue reading